Content warning: This article talks about death and what happens to a body afterwards, including some physical detail about embalming. If you've lost someone recently, or this feels like a lot right now, go gently. Skip what you need to, and come back whenever you're ready.
Embalming is when a funeral director uses preservative fluids to slow the body's natural changes after death, so the person looks more like themselves for longer. Almost 90% of bodies in Aotearoa are embalmed, yet it isn't required by law. Most of us never think about it until someone asks us to decide, usually on one of the worst days of our lives.
So let's talk about it now.
What actually happens
Embalming happens in the funeral home's mortuary, carried out by a trained embalmer. It's done with care and respect, and it usually takes a couple of hours.
- Washing and setting features. The person is washed, and their eyes and mouth are gently closed so they look peaceful. This happens whether or not they're embalmed.
- Arterial embalming. Preservative fluid is pumped through the body's arteries while blood is drained out through a vein. This is the main step that slows discolouration and decomposition.
- Cavity treatment. The chest and abdomen are treated separately, because the arteries don't reach everything in there.
- Dressing and presentation. The person is dressed in the clothes they chose, or that have been chosen for them, their hair is done, and light make-up may be used to bring back some natural colour.
There's also partial embalming, where only the chest and abdomen are treated. It can be enough when the farewell is short.
Modern funeral embalming isn't mummification. It's designed to hold someone well for the days of a farewell, not forever.
What's in embalming fluid?
Embalming fluid is a mix of chemicals diluted in warm water. The exact recipe changes for each person, depending on things like their condition and how long the farewell will be.
- Preservative. Usually formaldehyde, sometimes glutaraldehyde. It firms up the body's proteins so bacteria can't break them down. This does most of the work.
- Methanol. A type of alcohol that keeps the formaldehyde mixed in.
- Dyes. These bring back a natural, rosy skin tone, and can correct colour changes like jaundice.
- Humectants. Moisturisers that help someone who was unwell or very thin look less dehydrated.
- Conditioners. These help break up blood clots so the fluid can flow evenly.
Formaldehyde-free and "green" fluids also exist. They're gentler on the earth, but they don't preserve as well.
And the bits nobody talks about
After death, every muscle in the body relaxes, including the ones that usually keep things in. So embalmers close up each opening to stop leaks and keep the person looking peaceful.
- Eyes. Small, dome-shaped plastic eye caps go under the eyelids. They keep the eyes shut and give them a natural, rounded shape.
- Mouth. The jaw is held closed with a stitch, a small wire, or adhesive, and the lips are set so they look relaxed.
- Nose and throat. These are usually packed with cotton to stop any fluid escaping.
- Bottom and vagina. These are closed with cotton packing or a small plastic plug, for the same reason.
- Belly. During cavity treatment, a small opening is made near the belly button to remove fluids. It's then sealed with stitches or a small plastic "trocar button".
- Incisions and wounds. Any cuts made during embalming, or left from surgery or a post-mortem, are stitched and sealed.
It's a lot, we know. But it's all done so your person stays clean, comfortable and dignified while people say goodbye.
Why people choose it
Embalming buys time and closeness, which is why it became the norm here. It was rare in Aotearoa until the 1950s. By the early 2000s, almost 90% of bodies were embalmed.
- Time to gather. Loved ones might be travelling from near or far. Embalming gives people days, not hours, to arrive and say goodbye.
- Tangihanga. Many people take their loved one to a funeral home to be embalmed before they lie in state at the marae, often for several days.
- Being close. Embalming means people can sit with, touch and kiss their person more easily, without them needing to go back into a cool room.
- Looking like themselves. It can bring back some natural colour, and help restore someone after an accident, illness or post-mortem.
- Travel. Taking someone across the country or overseas often needs embalming, because of the time involved and the rules at the other end.
Is it required in Aotearoa?
No. Embalming isn't legally required in New Zealand, and the decision belongs to you and your loved ones, not the funeral director. A good funeral director will explain the options and give their advice, but you can say no.
A few myths worth clearing up:
- "It's the law." It isn't, for burial or cremation.
- "It's needed for hygiene." That was the argument funeral directors made in the 1950s. Without embalming, a body is kept cool in the funeral home's mortuary instead.
- "You can't see them if they're not embalmed." You often can, especially if the farewell happens soon after death. It just depends on the person and how much time has passed.
- "It lasts forever." Nope. It's made to last through a funeral, not for years.
The alternatives
If embalming isn't for you, there are other ways to care for someone after they die.
| Option | What it means | Good to know |
|---|---|---|
| Refrigeration | The person is washed, dressed and kept in the funeral home's cool room | Viewing is still often possible, especially within the first few days |
| Cooling at home or on the marae | Cooling plates or blankets keep the person cool where loved ones gather | Can work for around a week |
| Natural burial | Burial in a natural cemetery, often with a tree planted instead of a headstone | Toxic embalming fluids aren't allowed. Some councils allow certified eco-friendly fluids if there's a delay |
| Early burial or cremation | The farewell happens quickly, so preservation isn't needed | A memorial can still be held later, with or without the body |
Make the call now, so they don't have to
There's no right answer, only yours. Think about whether you'd want an open casket, a tangihanga over several days, a natural burial, or a quick and simple farewell. Each one points to a different choice.
Whatever you decide, write it down. In DED., you can record your wishes in Your body, so the people looking after you know what you want and don't have to guess.
Leave love, not a mess.